In the 2003 raunchy comedy Old School, Will Farrell, Vince Vaughn, and Owen Wilson play a bunch of middle-aged dudes who start a new frat at their local college. It’s conceit playing on all the usual “mid-life crisis” tropes, and calamity ensues. The guys struggle to juggle their new-found frat life with being husbands, fathers, and busy business owners. And of course, it doesn’t go well — marriages suffer, kids suffer, and someone even dies (Forever our boy, Blue); by the end of the movie, they (at least kinda seem) to learn that being a middle-aged frat boy is stupid, and they need to embrace growing up.

Which is a lesson many of my generation desperately needs to learn as well.

I can’t remember the last time I opened up social media, and I didn’t see one of my middle-aged peers posting pics that made me think they auditioning for Old School 2: Supposed grown-ups portraying themselves more like Frank the Tank than actual mothers, fathers, husbands, and wives.

Dads glassy-eyed at another concert or rager with the boys, hefting their fourth or fifth Natty Light or IPA of the night …

Moms at “Mommy wine hour” with her girlfriends, showing more skin than they’d (hopefully) ever let their own children show in public …

Couples in their 30s and 40s, on their fifth “adulting” trip to the beach this year alone, in the sand or in a hot tub, hoisting more drinks, showing off pierced bellies, looking like extras in a Will Farrell movie.

Now, I love blowing off steam with friends. I love a good IPA or Old Fashioned. And while we can rarely afford it, I love a quick getaway with my wife and friends. But I’m not talking about rest and fun and the occasional, responsibly consumed libation here. No; I’m talking about the propensity of so many of my peers conducting themselves in ways we’d never condone in our kids — and then making yourselves look like immature, immodest, and self-centered frat boys and girls in public for all the world to see for time immemorial.

I was recently killing time on Hulu, flipping through its catalogue of all the beloved 80s and 90s sitcoms I grew up on. I remember watching these shows back then and thinking, “Man, those Dads look so old!” And now I’m their age — and just as goofy, grumpy, and old-fashioned. But know what those Dads did? They gave their family a firm foundation; they provided a boringly safe, reliable basis upon which to grow, to thrive, and to recover after making mistakes. And so, despite their comedic lameness, they were a blessing because they were mature. They were grown-ups, and they took that job seriously.

But what if Danny Tanner or Uncle Phil hadn’t taken their jobs as adults and Dads seriously? What would their families, their kids, and those who depended on them turned out like? What if the TV Dads screwed off like their rambunctious kids?

Well, I don’t have to wonder, because unfortunately, many of my peers today are choosing to live this thought experiment, and the empirical ramifications are staggering.

Kids today are more medicated, more anxious, less self-sufficient, less resilient, and more sick and allergic than ever. Go ahead and Google, and you’ll see what I mean. And almost every teacher I talk to who has taught for years tells me the same thing: They’ve never seen a less capable generation of kids than the ones currently in their classroom. Some are so demoralized that they’re looking to exit the profession as soon as they get the chance.

And you know what they always point to as the biggest problem? The parents.

Of course, there are A LOT of things that contribute to the problems above; but there’s no way a generation full of middle-aged frat boys and girls are helping. There’s no way you can effectively “train up a child in the way they should go” [Prov. 22:8} while you’re taking suggestive selfies at “Mommy Wine Hour.” There’s not way a father can be someone worthy of obedience [Ex. 20:12] and honor [1 Cor. 12:8] if the kids constantly see him throwing ‘em back with the bois. And how is a child supposed to “honor their mother and father” [Ex. 20:12] when they can just open up Mom’s Insta and see her in a tipsy haze, showing off her body in ways that would get her grounded for a month?

Our world desperately needs more Dr. Seavers, Danny Tanners, and Claire Huxtables, not more Frank the Tanks and Mommy Mean Girls. We need sober, discerning grown-ups who have the courage to be boringly consistent for their spouses, their kids, and their communities. We need selfless, mature adults, not self-centered, unserious middle-aged frat boys and girls.

And you know what? Frat culture was gross back in our 20s. It was, be honest. But in our 40s? It’s just … sad. And kinda pathetic. And we need to knock it off. It’s time to leave Old School behind — we’re too old for that nonsense anyway.

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways”

- 1 Corinthians 13:11